It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

“Accept the fact that some days you are the pigeon, and some days, you are the statue.” (Anonymous)

Remember my first post when I said that sometimes I have 3:00 a.m. fears about buying this house and moving 219 miles away from home?  Well, last night, it was a 3:00 a.m. MELTDOWN.

Within 10 days of moving in to this house, it rained, and I found out that my roof leaks.  There is nothing like being awakened at 2:00 a.m. to the sound of drip, drip, drip on your bedroom carpet in the house YOU JUST MOVED INTO.  So, like a responsible homeowner, I put a large bowl under the spot of the ceiling where it was leaking, and called a couple of roofers.  I was told it could be fixed, and was charged $630 for the privilege. I considered myself lucky. I’m currently unemployed and can’t afford a new roof.  

Fast forward two weeks, and I awaken to the familiar sound of plink, plink, plink (I hadn’t removed the bowl I’d put underneath the ceiling).   The roofer came out again to fix it, saying that they can’t quite figure out where the leak is in the roof, because it is clearly not at the spot where my ceiling drips.

That was mid November.  Now, remember this is California, so don’t be shocked that it has not rained since then. Until last night. When I heard that old plink, plink, plink refrain in my bedroom, I resolved to call the roofer.

Since there wasn’t anything I could do about the leaking at midnight, I went back to the living room to finish what I was doing. When I shut off the TV to go to bed, I heard a drip, drip, drip on my ceiling. There was no leak from the ceiling (yet), but I could tell where the rain was leaking from the roof onto the floor of the attic crawlspace (“I found the leak in the roof, Mr. Roofer!!”)  Just to be on the safe side, I put a large plastic storage bin underneath the spot where I could hear the drip (that was NOT the decorating statement I wanted to make in my living room!).  Fast forward an hour and a half, and I hear that familiar plink, plink, plink in my living room.

Of course, the roofer isn’t available on the weekends, my nephew is out of town, and I don’t yet know anyone well enough to feel comfortable in calling them in the middle of the night to just cry, or to ask, “Please come over, bring your ladder, climb onto my roof in the rain, and put a tarp over where we think the leak is.” 

Now, I realize that a leaky roof isn't the end of the world.  There are a lot of people facing much tougher challenges in life.  But at 3:00 a.m., a leaky roof, no job, and no one to tell me that everything will all right made the problem seem insurmountable. I had visions of the ceiling in my living room caving in, the house falling apart, me falling apart. 

Hence, the 3:00 a.m. meltdown.

Since the roofer isn’t available at all on the weekends, I’m wondering if they have a job opening, because I find it particularly ironic that in every job application I complete, I’ve had to list my available work hours as “any”, because, gee, as my mother always said when her children were complaining, “Beggers can’t be choosers.” But my roofer gets to work 8:00 a.m. to 5:00p.m., Monday to Friday. It must be nice.

I really hesitated to write this post, because I wanted this blog to be a place that people would want to visit. And who wants to visit a place to listen to complaining?  But, I got to thinking about that. I see this blog as being about my journey from a mediocre life to a great life. And, really, life’s journey isn’t just about the good stuff, the pretty stuff. It’s also about the 3:00 a.m. meltdowns, and the wondering if God is really listening to us when we cry out for help. It is about the fears, uncertainties and loneliness; the pain, illness, unemployment and grief.  I think we tend to forget this (at least I do) when we hop from blog to blog, seeing all the prettiness: the beautiful homes, the vintage finds, the gorgeous gardens, the handcrafted loveliness.  It’s easy to see our favorite blogs as a refuge from the bad stuff, but unfortunately, I’m sometimes left believing that nothing bad happens to the blog owners.  So, on occasion (rarely, I hope), you will be hearing about the storms in my life, because I don’t think it would be entirely honest for me to always leave out the hard parts of the journey, and only talk about the good stuff.

So, a storm is raging both outside and inside my home. But I know that this storm, like all storms, will pass.  

Tomorrow will be another “Cinema Sunday”. I hope you will join me.